The Examined Life II

After I have addressed my relationship with God, I have another relationship to address.

The Bible says that, "He who finds a good wife, finds a good thing." But it also it also says in 1 Peter 3:7:

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Finally, it says, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her". Look at the majesty and weight of that last verse. What greater important responsibility can we have than to imitate the Savior?And that responsibility is linked to my marriage.

So next, I dedicate my attention to leading, loving and protecting my wife.

The Examined Life I

Socrates said, "the unexamined life is not worth living." If you examine that statement, it is a very bold statement. Perhaps a bit too bold for me, but I agree with the premise. We should be examining our lives.

Paul puts it with a bit more application, "Watch your life and doctrine closely."

So to walk that out, the first area that I would want to examine is my relationship with God.

Am I having regular devotions? Are the feeding and fulfilling me? Do I feel like i have checked off an activity or have I met with a person. Have I spoken to Him? Has He spoken to me? Have I been affected by an element of his charactor or an element of sinfulness?

How could I meet with the sacrificed savior and not be changed?

Lord, my heart is stone. My emotions are cold. My motivations are selfish. Might I, this morning touch just the hem of your garment and be changed forever.

Worship

What am I thinking about worship?

Well on my walk into church, I am thinking about all the things that I have done and need to do. And I pray and ask God to help me put them all aside for the next 30-minutes. There will be time to think about those things soon enough. I waste HOURS listening to talk radio and listening to the gibberish in my head - right now I need to engage in worship. Lord, let me give you my very best. Missionary Martyr Jim Elliott said, "Wherever you are - be all there."

Then I start singing. I give up any thought about whether i like the song or not. Worship is not about my taste in songs, whether the song is performed well or sung in my range. The song is a tool to assist me in considering the character and power of God. I think about the words and how they apply to me. If it is about grace, I think about how desperately I need forgiveness. If it is about the power of God, I think about how that power is harnessed for His glory. God's love, my adoption. All of this pushes me deeper and deeper into worship.

I and I often will look back at my family, if I am not sitting with them. How they are processing worship is a great gauge on where their heart is.

Then the announcements - I listen intently to the announcements because as i listen and read thru the bulletin God will speak to me, telling me what I should participate in and what awesome events i need to say no to. But I also assess my worship. I go back in my mind. If I had difficulty entering in, I ask why. If I had a particularly song that ministered, I will take note and maybe use that during my weeks devotions.

Be intentional. Squeeze everything you can out of worship.

Don't go to church

You know, I am not a big fan of going to church. All told, it probably is a little better to go to church that not to go to church, but not by much.

Here is what I am for. You should be a member of a good church. Now, I could search Facebook and be the member of thousands of organizations, associations and groups. That also means nothing. I mean to be a member of a church like you are a participating, engaged, alert and active member of a family. You need that and I need that:

- I need to be encouraged. I am an encourager so I don't need a lot, but need to have someone put their two eyeballs on mine and say, thanks for doing this, I see the grace of God at work in you, you helped me when you did this, I'm glad I'm in this church with you.

- I need to be challenged. As much of a self-started as I am, I need Pastor Don to ask me what am I doing to refresh myself in the gospel, I need Pastor Steve to ask me how I am using the gospel and the Word to minster to others. I have great devotions, I read a lot, I listen to 4-7 sermons a week. But I need personal, individual caring and "spurring" on.

- In need to be watched. My heart is sinful beyond measure and I cannot be trusted to my own observations or evaluation. My sin has made me blind to so much and I need others to watch my life and bring me correction, adjustment and sometimes a good 'slap-down".

- I need to serve. My church gives me a place to serve. I can be a glass of water that is filled, but unless I then pour that water out on others, that water will become stale and eventually un-drinkable. I need to realize and act upon the fact that church is not about me showing up, being entertained, fed and taken care of. I am called to serve God and those whom God has chosen.

It has been a year since I stepped down (9/26/08). I got a chance to speak at our last family meeting, and during my swan song, I said, "I love this church".

After a year as just a member...I love this church.

Mark 15b

When I read the account of the crucifixion in any of the gospels, it is too easy for me to sweep by this oft read passage. My mind can grow cold to the amazing grace that is revealed there. One thing that helps me slow down is music. There are so many songs and hymns that bring the truth so tenderly:

My hope is in the Lord
Who gave Himself for me,
And paid the price of all my sin at Calvary

And then an old one, maybe not a hymn, but an old gospel song:

Sin and despair, like the sea waves cold,
Threaten the soul with infinite loss;
Grace that is greater, yes, grace untold,
Points to the refuge, the mighty cross.

In such desperate need, you came to me at my lowest. Washing clean, saving from sin, adoption as your son. Such unmerited favor, unearned blessing, unqualified acceptance, charity. There is nothing that I did, or will ever do that would attract your love or favor. But you loved me anyway. Thank you father.

Mark 15a

Injustice drives me crazy. My mind is filled with the statement, "that's just not right". But Mark 15:3 gives takes that to a whole new level...

And the chief priests accused him of many things
Mark 15:3

So the next time that I am tempted to get indignant about injustice...

Mark 14c

The time was approaching and in just a few minutes, He would not have a moment to himself. So he took his three closest friends and went to pray.

The Whip, the crown and the nails all lay in his immediate future. But it was the phrase he was destined to shout that kept ringing in his head, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

The greatest punishment was to be that he was to become sin, our sin, my sin, and lose that perfect fellowship with His Father.

And what of his friends? Three separate times they fell asleep. If it were me, in anger and impatience, I would have called the whole thing off.
- "They don't care..."
- "They're not ready..."
- "No gratitude? No respect?"

But because of his love for you and for me, his face was set toward Jerusalem (Luke 9:53). There was nothing we did that prompted him to bear the cross - and there is nothing we did then, or could ever do do that would discourage him from what he was committed to do.

That is the gospel.

Worship

Mark 14b

So much depth, so much richness - but my ADHD brain will not let me slow down to feast on all that God has for me in these verses. The Lord wants to give me a twelve course meal and i want fries at the drive thru!. Lord, slow down my heart.

Starting at verse 22, is the shortest account of the Last Supper in all the gospels, but every word in the Bible is packed with dynamite - or should I say Dunamis.

As Matthew Henry would say: The Lord's supper is food for the soul...Apply the doctrine of Christ crucified to yourselves; let it be meat and drink to your souls, strengthening and refreshing your spiritual life.

Remember back in chapter 10 James and John ask for the seat to his right and left? And Jesus responds, "Are you able to drink the cup that I drink,"? That was the cup of suffering. Now put that together with the phrase in 14:23, "and when he had given thanks..." So picture this, Jesus is holding the cup of passover wine, symbolizing his blood, the blood that was hours away from being poured out fro the whip, the thorns, the cross. And what he does is he give thanks.

Twice in the last week I have been given bad news, really bad news. Sometimes I was angry, sometimes confused, sometimes frustrated, sometimes afraid - but I can honestly say that giving thanks was not the first (or second, or third) thing that popped into my head.

But giving thanks is not something you do, but it is something that erupts. It erupts from a heart that is filled with faith in a God that is inclined to me (Psalm 40:1), who's mercies are new every morning (Lam 3:23), who rejoice over me with gladness (Zeph 3:17).

Like Job, I know that my Redeemer lives, and that he will redeem each of these situations for his glory and my good. I know that he has redeemed me! And I know that he loves me. So much so, that he gave thanks when he was given that cup.

Mark 14a

I heard CJ Mahaney speak on this passage once. I forget the exact words he used, but he talked about this part of the gospels and how time slowed down. The first couple of chapters talk about his life and child hood. Then the next ten or so chapters talk about his ministry - three years. Then the last several chapters slow down and talk about the last several days and then hours of his life.

I don't want to miss this part - so I will slow down. I will only read enough for God to get ahold of my heart. It took nine verses.

The story is where Jesus is anointed at Bethany. The woman of questionable character anoints Jesus with a nard that would be worth about $25-30,000 in today's dollars. The un-enlightened scold her, and even Jesus for letting this happen. In practical terms, this was a foolish act.

But Jesus commends her. Then he says something at froze me in my reading, "She has done what she could". What a commendation! Would Jesus say that about my ministry? Would he say that about my service, my life? Have I done what I could.

I was reminded of the widow's offering in Mark 12:41, where she tossed in two copper coins and she was commended by Jesus because, "but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had." Way too impractical! She even had TWO copper coins. It would have been wise to put one in and hold the rest for her family's needs.

I haven't done what I could... I have hoarded my time, resources, my gifts. I have been selfish with what I have been given and have stolen it from the glory of God. Lord, open my eyes to where I have not done what I could, and give me grace to put-off selfishness, self-protection and pride. Let me embrace the cross, sacrifice and bringing you glory by holding nothing back.

Mark 13

Mark 13 is an eschatological passage. The disciples ask about comments that he made about the destruction of the Temple and Jesus ramps it into a lesson on the end times. I have to confess, it seemed a bit creepy. The way the Savior describes it, is certainly does not sound like you would look forward to it like you are looking forward to the family vacation or Christmas.

Pray that it may not happen in winter. For in those days there will be such tribulation as has not been from the beginning of the creation that God created until now, and never will be. And if the Lord had not cut short the days, no human being would be saved. (v. 18-20a)

But there is one message that I take away from this passage. It is a message that Jesus repeats and repeats:

v. 9 - But be on your guard
v. 23 - But be on guard; I have told you all things beforehand.
v. 28 - From the fig tree learn its lesson
v. 33 - Be on guard, keep awake
v. 37 - And what I say to you I say to all: Stay awake

The Word of God is powerful and important and every word should be studied and valued. However, when Jesus repeats something (Truly, truly I say to you), it is like he is shouting, "Hey, listen up, this is REALLY important. When he is multiply repetitive in one chapter, I don't know how to make that any more clear - PAY ATTENTION.

Sovereign Grace's Mark Mullery wrote an article and has done some messages roughly titled, Everyone a Theologian explaining the call for all of us to 'study to show yourself approved' (II Timothy 2:15). This is a direct and specific call to do that, and to do that in the very specific area of eschatology.

I am going to pull out my copy of Systematic Theology by Dr. Wayne Grudem and re-read those chapters. I also know that the book store carries his shorter work Bible Doctrine which has four chapters on this topic alone.

Lord, I want to "present my self to God as one approved", but to do that I need your grace. Open my eyes to your Word, open my heart to the changes that will occur as I see you and see myself.

Headed Home

Finishing my meetings today and I will be headed home.

There is often a renewing that I get when I am away. I have extra time to pray, think, mediate and I try to schedule at least one evening as a 'short retreat'.

But there is no place like home. Home is the place where my wife is. God gave her to me as the perfect one for my sanctification and my care. In the last three decades we have grown together, closer and closer so that when we are apart, it is like missing a part of me, a part of my heart.

Home is where my children are. I miss the familiar way we live together, the way our lives are intertwined. I miss the hugs, the laughter, the WALKS!!

Home is where my Brian and Christine are. I miss my loving trash talk with Brian, my heart-to-hearts. I am grateful to God for where he has brought our relationship after some very difficult years. I am so proud of him. Christine is my daughter, she was just born into a different family. I sit here and my eyes well with tears as I think about how she has pursued the grace of God for growth in her life.

And there are two other little people who's names escape me. As we say it at our house, 'spell it'.

Grace, grace, grace. I have been given so much better than I deserve. Have you thought about all the good that you have been given? What do you deserve? Eternal separation from God! But instead I have her, them, a church family that I would not exchange for...exchange for...I would not exchange them for the rest of my life...please Lord?

Mark 12

The parable starts off with..."A man planted a vineyard...and leased it to tenants and went into another country." Then the time came to collect rent. The first employee they beat the stuffing out of, the second they killed.

Now how would you respond. I have a list of people that I would send in, and it would include John Wayne, Chuck Norris, Sylvester Stallone (or just one angry Marine). But no, this owner sent his son. You fool! What were you thinking. They have already killed and tortured and you are going to send your son!

But this story is not told from the perspective of the Owner getting his due, but of the King being gracious. The one who owns the vineyard wants to give his tenants every opportunity to do the right thing. He feels so strongly, so compassionately so lovingly towards his tenants that the possibility of losing his son with worth the risk.

WE were worth the risk...

Love so amazing, so Divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all!

Mark 11

The problem with reading the gospels for devotions, even just one chapter, is that there are always three to five stories in each chapter and each story has several lessons that I could meditate on. What to do?

As I read, I just listen -and invariably, one story, sentence or phrase seems to have greater impact or significance to me than the others. As I was reading, v. 2-3 made me think. This is the part where Jesus instructs his disciples to get a young donkey for the ride into Jerusalem. I was wondering, why such detail. Why not someone who just came up and offered the donkey, or they stumbled upon it as the entered.?

There are a number of reasons - this was planned, this was foretold, this was another miraculous sign and indication that Jesus was the Messiah. All good and valid.

But this reminds me that God is God of the details, of the little things. When I get to work on Monday and I look at all that is piled on my desk from Friday, that I had dreams of knocking out over the weekend, I get anxious. I look at a 5-page to-do list that is too long to even prioritize and I get anxious. I think about the economy, house payments, college and retirement and I get anxious.

And then He leads me to Mark 11:2-3 and He shepherds my soul. 'I am the God of the littlest of things. Nothing escapes my attention, no level of details is too small or number of details too great.'

Lord, thank you that know it all, know it all in advance, and have promised to care for me as an adopted son.

Mark 10

Tension...

It is building. In verse 32 it says, "And they were on the road going up to Jerusalem..." The chapter is about bringing children to him and the rich young ruler give up all and James and John wanting to sit at his right an left. Finally, blind Bartimaeus's cry for help - the last person he will heal in this gospel.

And every step He takes on one closer to the cross.

Mark 9

Mark 9 raises many questions in my mind. I wish I was smarter and could answer these questions. Jonathan Edward's eleventh resolution was:

Resolved, when I think of any theorem in divinity to be solved, immediately to do what I can towards solving it, if circumstances don't hinder.

I won't ask all the questions now. But I will start with a few.

First, at the foot of the Mount of Transfiguration, Jesus selected three of his twelve disciples to go with him up that mountain and to see what was about to happen (v 2). They were there to describe the indescribable. Why only three? And why those three.

So if Jesus took them to describe the indescribable, of the three that he took, only one penned a gospel, and that was John. Yet in John's gospel, he does not include the transfiguration.

One more question, and this is for fun. At least once a year, Sports Illustrated has an article entitled, Where Are They Now that is a follow up to an athlete who had his 15 minutes of fame but has now fallen off the map. In v. 36, Jesus address the "who is the greatest" argument the disciples are having. "And he took a child and put him in the midst of them". What ever happened to that young child? Did he grow up to be a follower? Maybe he became mayor of that village, or a common criminal. I just have a feeling that something poignant came of his life...

Someday, we will know.

for Her

Your smile lights my morning like the sunrise,

Your eyes warm my soul like the summer sun.

When you hold my hand, I am king of the world!

God has blessed me with many things,

"but the greatest of these is" you.

And every day it gets brighter,

...and warmer

...and deeper

Mark 8

The Bible IS funny. Mark 8 starts off with Jesus telling his disciples that he can't send the crowd of 4,000 people away or they will faint without food. So they open up their igloo cooler and find 7 loaves of bread. When all was said and done, there was more food then when they started. This is an incredible testimony to the power of God.

In the next three verses (11-13) the Pharisees ask for a sign. HELLO?! Can you just see Jesus, helping to clean up the mess from the picnic, these guys coming up - "Hey you, Rabbi!" Jesus stands behind a basket full of bread asks, can one of you guys grab the other handle and give me a hand." The pharisee grudgingly grabs the other side of the basket and persistently asks, "hey! if you are from God, we need to see a sign." Jesus, distractedly responds, "careful, step over that pile of loaves, my disciples are trying to find enough baskets to gather all these things up...can we borrow you cloak to haul some of this stuff in...I'm sorry, what was the question again..."

"no sign will be given to this generation" because you have not seen the signs already given.

Thank you for grace that has opened my eyes. I was blind, but now I see.

Mark 7

whatever goes into a person from outside cannot defile him...What comes out of a person is what defiles him.

In this conversation, Jesus takes all my excuses away. I can't blame TV and movies for lust. I can't blame a lousy work situation for my grumbling. I can't blame another driver on the road for my anger. Sin isn't without, it is within. These exterior situations are just keys that unlock that sin that is stored in my heart.

But my proud heart wants to blame a busy schedule for a lack of self discipline. I want to blame Hollywood, the liberals, the media, my neighbors, stupid drivers - everyone but myself. But if I don that I don't embrace my sin. And if I don't embrace my sin, I don't see my great need for a savior. Without embracing my sin, the cross is ornamental, not instrumental.

Lord, remove all the thinks that I have dreamt that try to eclipse the glory of the cross. Remove my blinders so that I can see the darkness of my sin as lit by the brilliance of your cross.

Mark 6

I have been discussing with my wife and accountability partner an area of growth that needs a great deal of focus - way too often am not gentle with my wife or children. It emanates from my impatience, and that often results from my agenda or expectations not being met.

Mark 6 has a good example of one of those places where I would grow impatient with my wife, or anyone:

And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a
while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a desolate place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they ran there on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them. (v. 31-33)

Okay ,now I would respond by being impatient, irritated. "Don't these people know I need my down-time! This is not what I planned, or what I need."

But how did Jesus respond...

When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd.

Ouch, that double edged sword stings.

Lord, I have a long way to go. I need your grace to crucify my plan, my agenda and my perceived needs. What I need is just what you give me. It is for your glory and for my ultimate good.

Mark 5

The Bible is the inspired Word of God, but the chapter breaks are not. Nevertheless, there are some places where the chapter breaks make me think. One example is Mark 5. In this chapter, three things happen - there is the healing of the Gerasene demoniac, the woman with the issue of blood and the raising of Jairus's daughter. Several ways to look as this:

1.) a deliverance, a healing and a raising
2.) he didn't want to be healed, no one knew she was healed and no one believed she could be healed.

This is just one of many instance where we can see the breadth of Jesus love and power.

The best way to get even is to forgive

Clara Barton was an American nurse who founded the American Red Cross in 1881 and was its president until 1904. A remarkable woman, she made it a rule never to hold resentment against anyone.

Once a friend reminded her of a cruel thing that had been done to Barton some years previously, but Clara seemed not to remember the incident.

"Don't you remember the wrong that was done to you?" the friend asked.
"No," Clara answered calmly. "I distinctly remember forgetting that."

(via Harvey MacKay)

Care Group

Care Group started last night. Interesting. I had some expectations, but it was definitely different. I expected that we would start near where we left off, but would need a little prodding, a little warming up.

Not so. We started ahead of where we left off last time. We started better than if we had spent the summer together. We were farther along with transparency, with applying the gospel and with the friendship.

Grace, it's till amazing.

Divine Interuptions

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a creature of habit. I like my rhythms and my ruts. But this morning something different happened in my devotions. I sat down to pick up where my plan had left me off yesterday - but there was an uneasiness. I just had a sense that I should stop and pray, so that is precisely what I did.

As I prayed, the melody and words to a great old hymn kept washing over my consciousness:

Great is thy faithfulness, O God, My Father
There is no shadow of turning with Thee.
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not;
As thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be.

I just let the music and lyrics wash me in God's faithfulness, his mercy and love. I just remained quiet in the presence of God and let the words minister to my soul.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

All of it true and all of it for me. As a member of his family, I have mercies fresh each morning. I have an unchanging God as my Father.

And I have a Abba-father who will say to me, stop, put that down. Hop up on my lap and let's just be together.